For the first time ever, SOGO will be entering a car in unofficial, official pre-race. This event is so grueling, our driver, Darrell "Balls O' Steel" Compardo has been in seclusion for months, preparing his mind and body for the perilous task at hand. At the same time, SOGO engineers have worked tirelessly around the clock to build a vehicle worthy of his prowess. Be there at midnight before the bike race to see the unveiling of the "SOGO Flyer".

For those of you unaware of what the pre race is, here's the official word, "
12:00 MIDNIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BIKE RACE WILL BE THE TENTH ANNUAL
DOWNHILL RACE. IT IS A BIKE RACE! 20 INCH WHEELS OR SMALLER NO PEDALING.
SAME TIME SAME PLACE. ALL SPECTATORS STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE STREET.
ALL FRAT BOY RETARDS LET THE COPS DO THEIR FUCKING JOBS. WE JUST WANT TO DO
THIS WITHOUT BEING FUCKED WITH. ONE RUN AND DONE!
PARTY STARTS AT DAWSON ST. PUB. 8:00 PM. SPONSORED BY PABST AND REDBULL.
TROPHY CEREMONY AT 1AM.
STANTHONY PRODUCTIONS "

6th (maybe 7th) annual Official Race Party

Joe's Quick Hits I'm sure there have been 1000 reviews, recaps, and revisitations on
gmail... but here's my take.

1. The Troeg's 2-tap cold plate is now the Holy Grail of beer swag. I
hadn't noticed it when it first showed up in the backyard until I was
pretty much done filling my mason jar with the hand pumped Sunshine Pils
(a beer that should NEVER be exposed to plain old breathing air).
Anxious to share in its glory, I pounded my beer in two gulps and
proudly handed the mason jar to Johnson... For some reason, beer that
comes through its proper tapping equipment just tastes better.

2. After getting my first beer, I hung in the yard for a while. I see
Lou, who looks worried. "Joey, I don't know... we still haven't kicked
a keg yet... It's already 10:15." "It'll be ok Lou... you said the
same thing last year and it was gone by 2... Let's go up on the roof
and throw cherries at people." "OK, you get the cherries..." (Mike -
this year's cherries were outstanding... I want to ask you to bring
them out more often, but I guess that's like asking for Christmas more
than once a year)

3. No less than 30 people asked me why I was carrying a Dunkin Donuts
cup around the party. I got so good with the comebacks, that I would
drink out of it intentionally when I met somebody new, just to strike up
a conversation... But Dirty Diana took a truly hard line stance and
didn't give me the opportunity to reply to her criticism of the cup.
Instead of just calling me a pussy for drinking coffee, she grabbed the
cup, said, "It's too late for coffee." and threw it on the ground. I
would imagine that the look of shock on my face was priceless, but no
more than the look on her face when I informed her that it wasn't half a
cup of coffee she just spiked, it was half a cup of $80/bottle bourbon.

4. SOGO Flyer - despite severe damage suffered during its final run
the night before, the Flyer managed to take one last ride down Manayunk
ave, much to the chagrin of a handful of police officers. While the
cops did not feel the need to fine or ticket anybody, it was probably
no coincidence that the police presence quintupled within an hour. A
special shout out to officer Joe Kelly, the man assigned to 3875, who
told me... "Nobody wants to shut you down, we all want the party to
still be going when our shift is over, but several bikers have
complained about this specific block, so you may want to stay out of the
street."

5. After waking up at 5am to prep for a 7am meeting yesterday morning,
a meeting that I had to run, 3 days of drinking took its toll on me. I
cut an entire hour off the meeting and took a 2 hour nap at my
grandparent's house during "lunch."

The Flanimal Attacks- Flanimal at his finest: We pull up some sidewalk across the street from they mayham, you know, to take it all in. This is when the mentally challenged people who think it's cool to ride their bikes around the route the day of the race, approach up Manayunk Ave. Knowing from experience what was about to go down, I prepare several people around me for Flan's imminent barrage of slander and hate. As the three bikers in spandex pass us up the hill, Flan lets loose on them. "You're going the wrong way douchebags! Give it up, YOU SUCK, they passed you a half hour ago you f'in losers!!!" Well the 60 year old man, who has obviously had some sort of damage to his face around his mouth, minorly disfiguring his lip and causing a lisp, didn't like this. He dismounts his bike, walks towards Flan (as Flan stares him down saying "Yeah that's it pops, come on over.") The conversation:

OM (Old Man): You got a problem?
Flan: Yeah you look like a f'in idiot riding your bike out here.
OM: You don't know me. I grew up here I'm from the neighborhood. (vauguely reminiscent of a line I've heard many times from the TSP)
Flan: Yeah so did I ya jerk. So what!?!? Now get back on your bike before I make that other lip crooked.
OM: (Staring in disbelief, as he walks away) I'll be back.
Flan: Yeah, I'm sure. If you do have the balls I'll be right here old timer.

 

Last years events

Not sure this is the thing for you? Here's how it went down last year.

The Hoff's Opinion of Bike Race

Louis' Thinkpiece on Darrell's Pre-Race