Will work for food!!!

• Energetic young man looking for work. Multi-discipline training including a college degree.
• Prefer a low stress work environment that is not results oriented.
• Looking for a job in either the sales, home leisure, or gigolo industries.
• Just started a physical and mental workout regimen in anticipation of a resumption of lacrosse career, so long hours may be a problem. Jobs with gym access will be considered. However, jobs based on heavy lifting will not.
• Will not tie shoes or act as a human remote.
• Prefer to start after the conclusion of Lent.

Hops wanted!

Hops wanted for home brewing. Prefer exotic trades, perhaps of sexual services, to cash transactions. Will not trade finished product for said hops. Gifts of hops accepted. Donor will not be offered finished product or invited to talk to brewers in social situations. Please stop sending cough syrup, this is not a photo of a meth lab. Really. I swear.