I write observations, not recaps...

BAM is the Ronnie Lott of the bike race party...  He picked off so many cherries that were destined for other people that ESPN had footage of him in their Ultimate Highlight.  I think his urine is still 50% marachino.  Plus, I'm pretty sure he lost part of his finger on the fence.  Everybody else was stuck with weighing the risks of eating cherries from the ground, or trying to get to them via the fraught filled staircase of Blackhaus Stiltskin and Mr. Rear Naked Choke-Hold.  Not surprisingly, most of the people seemed to be opting for ground cherries.  Speaking of cherries...  my limited edition SOGO Security T-shirt has so many stains that it looks like the tie-dye I purchased from a hippie outside a dead show circa 92.  It's disgusting. 

Glad to see Flannery is still starting shit in his old age.  And to think we all assumed marriage and the prospect of fatherhood would mellow him out a bit...  I'm just happy that I wasn't around for the fireworks, somehow it's always something of mine that gets fucked up in the process...  Like back in 02 when we were up at PSU and a Flan conflict resulted in me geting punched in the face with a pint glass...  Or, a few months later when Flan and I crashed a party box at a Flyers game and a lady wished death on me...  Or, during the 05 Eagles season when his dismount from the roof of my car destroyed my windshield.  Still though, I'd gladly trade a little scarring, a deathwish, and the inconvenience of buying a new windshield for the endless hours of entertainment he's given me the past 5 years.  My personal top 5 Flannery moments:

5.  Flan decided that he was the love child of Bob Clarke and Dave Schultz and got himself thrown out of our co-ed street hockey beer league - by JJ. 

4.  Every time we're at the OD and he insults 90% of the girls, karate chops the other 10%, smears a Jell-O shot all over his face and says, "she's on the rag," sprays beer on people who don't know us, nearly gets kicked out, and yells profanities at every man woman and child along the 7 miles between the OD and home.

3.  Back in 03 when we were all sitting around the place on 29th street, watching "High Hopes" when Flan started telling us the story of how he met former Phillie Dale Murphy, a story that started, "I actually met Dale Murphy on my flight back from Space Camp..."

2.  Flanapult - We organized a pretty big tailgate for the last Phillies game at the vet - maybe a little too big.  When game time was upon us and we still had food left over, Flanimal decided it would be a good idea to launch meatballs at homeles people and passersby.  

1.  The still legendary jump off the 21st street bridge...  'nuff said.   

Back to the Bike Race...  I thought things were doomed when, upon exiting the train, a cop asked me where I got my T-shirt.  Fortunately, he and his cop buddies didn't want to shut us down, they just wanted to purchase a couple Ts for themselves.  Quite an honor, I'd say...  "SOGO - The Urban Party Movement preferred by cops!"  Mike hooked them up with a couple freebies and while I wouldn't exactly call it a bribe, I can tell you that we didn't have any trouble from the boys in blue for the rest of the day.  In fact, if it weren't for that one visit from L&I, the city stayed out of our shit. 

A couple questions...

Is it just me, or is the annual rite of Dave and Blakhaus almost as good as Karate Kid on TBS?  We've all seen it before, and it always ends the same way, but you're still riveted - straight through to where the empty bottle goes crane-technique on him and he's passed out, pissing himself...  

Are bouncers just born to be that way?  I won't be shocked when I pick up the USAToday and read that scientists in Australia have isolated the bouncing gene.  I also won't be shocked to find out Patrick Swayze doesn't have it.

Has anybody ever noticed that the weather on bike race days is ALWAYS 84 and sunny?  I mean, I don't want to jinx anything here, but I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. 

Well, we gave the race a 1 lap head start and it still wasn't even close.  I think we need a follow up t-shirt: 12 Kegs vs 9 Laps, or maybe an, "I survived the jump across the chasm" shirt with the crackhouse bathroom pictured on the back.  Either way, just keep the damn cherries away from it.